Dabbling with innocence June 24, 2008

You never know where your travels may take you. Even it its a walk to your neighbourhood store. You never know where life may drop a few beads of honey for you to lick and savour. Maybe a conversation. A smile. A handshake. Or just the view as you walk by.

Whenever I come back home during my vacations, I always go hiking on the dam built on a small river, the Banas, near to the University campus. Located in quiet and seemingly untouched corner of Mother Nature’s lap, the scenery is meant to be savoured and drunk completely.

Its a scenic beauty with breath-taking mountains that seem to play hide-and-seek, the fog assisting it in every way. Rocks and boulders relaxing above one another as if they don’t care a damn about the world. Crystal clear water with a conscience even clearer. As if little drips of nature’s innocence are sprinkled all over. The dam built with strong concrete standing guard over the child that nature is and keeping a paternal warm vigilance at night with street lights shining as small lighted matchsticks. You just sit their gaping at the enigmatic intercourse of natural beauty and man’s endeavour.

This evening I just cycled my way on the road telling myself that I’ve gotta get back home soon. So, just some blissful moments of solitude and then back. As soon as I reached the clearing and climbed up onto the huge balustrade of the dam, I saw that the play of the cotton-like clouds and the mountains had begun. And then I heard some babbling behind. People! Well, so much for my time alone!

I was pondering whether to leave as its not gonna be worth. But decided to stay. And, then, I saw a man cushioned between two tiny tots, brothers perhaps, on a bicycle. He made his way up to the balustrade and the children climbed up. The father started walking around taking in the scene. The children stayed together chattering aimlessly. And, then I heard the younger one saying, “Don’t you wish you could fly. Oh! How I wish I could just take a huge jump from here, cross the river and land on the mountains! Like Krissh and Superman!!”

I laughed. I couldn’t help it and turned around. The small one was gaping hungrily at the mountains. A small face with spectacles too big for his face stringed on both handles in case it fell. Mouth drawn wide open. All front teeth missing. The elder one a ‘little more’ mature, quieter and, probably, playing the elder brother.

I started talking to them. The family had just shifted a few days back. The father was an officer in the BSF of India and his battalion had just been posted here after their stint in Punjab. We talked about the tourist spots near around. The rain. The weather.

The small boy’s words had a strange sense of wonder as he talked about everything around. As if every small stone, every drop of water was so special and so great a thing as to be stared at and appreciated as wonder. It dawned on me that how as children we too appreciated every small thing around. Man’s creation or Nature’s. It did not matter. What mattered was that it surprised us! Made us want to know more! Want to feel more!

The younger one led me to a part of the balustrade where someone had drawn a heart with two names when the cement had been wet. He just wowed at it in wonder. And asked me what it was. Well, its just a symbol of a heart indicating love. But, he made me notice stuff which I had long since stopped looking at. It made me wonder how much we take for granted. As if nothing, whether natural or material, matters much to us. At least to our eyes. Do we walk with our eyes closed or are we accustomed to work with our eyes closed?

I asked the elder one his name. He said, “Pankaj”. I asked him whether he knew what it meant. He promptly replied, “The lotus flower”. The younger got excited. He pronounced, “My name is Rahul. Do you know what it means?” I smiled. I did not. I said, “It means you are Shah Rukh Khan”. His eyes turned big. Almost bursting with happiness. “Really?” I said Yes.

It was dusk. I could barely see his face. Neither could he see mine with the breeze playing the locks all over my face. He said, “Goodbye”. I smiled back. Waved happily.It felt good. Just doing a ‘Goodbye’ with waving my hand when I was used to just a cold ‘See ya!’.

Has life become so mechanical? So automatic? So push-of-a-button? Look around. Do you smell freshness of life or staleness of trudging on with life?

Siddhartha

Of life and leisure June 9, 2008

It goes without saying that everyone loves leisure. Well, almost everyone. Leisure is the dessert that whets our appetite for savouring life. To relish its taste and quietly recede into the ‘lost’ personal space. Hence, often, its very important how this ‘extra special’ time is spent or squandered by us. What we do or stay away from during this time.

People who don’t appreciate their work, won’t appreciate leisure. Because they simply cannot differentiate between working hard and spending time doing nothing. As they spend their time doing nothing at work, what difference does it make? Albeit, I don’t speak as someone who clearly sees the thin line separating both, I am aware of the difference and how special that distinction is. A small urge to you (and to me) to appreciate your work, your priorities and you’ll know what leisure really means.

Appreciation is so crucial, its awareness can change your whole attitude towards life. You can distinctly smell and savour all the spices in your food, take in the warmth of the sun on a cold winter morning, get lost in the earthy smell on the first rain (never to recover and even dancing in it - feeling every drop on your skin), feel the music, laugh wholeheartedly,feel the love of people around you and your own too.

In short, you love being alive. Each moment is blissful. A blessing. You love life. And, you realize, that life loves you back too.
The most wonderful way of making this happen, making this a part of you is simple: Look at everything as if you are watching it for the first time. (That doesn’t mean you don’t work on the pending assignment thinking ‘Oh How wonderful! What is this?’ ) But have that sensitivity of possessing a childlike wonder. Don’t fake it. Just feel it happen and open your eyes.

You’ll find a new human being in your partner who loves you more than you ever realized. The trees on the boulevard side where you drive everyday will be magical and charming. The road that always appealed to you, yet you never went out to explore will be your next destination. The everyday espresso coffee will make you morning fresh every time. The numbers (at work) will be intriguing and fun to deal with.

To try out something new, something different - That will be your mantra. Just change your glasses. View the world in a new set of goggles. And, now, say Cheese!
Siddhartha

The Similarity beneath the stark Differences June 4, 2008

Everyday the world moves forward, at its own varying pace, justifying the survival of humankind on this planet. Although, ‘progress’ is matter of dispute, there can be no doubt that evolution of the human has been consistent according to his needs and his conditions. The rise and fall of civilizations has continued over the ages but its how varied these cultures have been that have caught attention. Whilst some roamed the forests hunting prey, others marched on the paths of materialistic, spiritual and intellectual growth setting new standards of human life.

This piece is not a discussion on human history or archaeology. I’ll with my own limited vision try to look into basic human instincts and see if there is some underlying isometry. Aeons ago, all human kind did was work exactly on the principle of survival of the fittest. He formed groups and developed organized skills for hunting down food whilst the fair sex stayed behind guarding the caves and watching the children grow up. And, thus began his quest for making order out of chaos. Organizing, procreating and innovating, the human race rapidly inched forward. And thus evolved his brain.

But when this happened in different corners of the world, was the “inching forward” similar? I guess its not easy to answer. Whilst being in his primitive state, his instincts and needs were similar to animals - hunger, sleep, procreation. But, fast forwarding to 21st Century, does this symmetry, more or less, still exist, albeit, in the “more sophisticated human”?

I am neither talking about architecture and political sciences nor am I referring to religion and arts. Its the basic human within. Has he remained unchanged? Although the above factors too can be yardsticks of comparison, but that is very unrealistic and short-sighted. Yet, Salman Rushdie, during his research for ‘The Enchantress of Florence‘, on drawing contrasts between Machiavelli’s Florence and Akbar’s Fatehpur Sikri says,

“This may be a curse on the human race. Not that we are so different from one another, but that we are so alike”

Albeit his comparison hovered around the activities of the court, the personal lives of its rulers and how the social strata was formed and slithered on.

Even Jawaharlal Nehru in his essay ‘Materialism’ (The Discovery of India) in drawing comparisons between Ancient India and Greece says that both are

“so different in many ways, have so much in common that I am led to believe that their background of life was very much similar”.

Speaking of say a typical American and a hardcore Indian, there will be scores of cultural, linguistic, ethnic,intellectual, political and other differences, yet they join hands and stand united against terrorism, against the environment crisis and all that forms a part of the ‘undefined book of human laws’ that stand valid no matter what.

The major public may just be a mute spectator, with not much understanding or a role in moving the world, yet the core ‘uncomplicated’ beliefs are in agreement. The ‘perceived truth’ may be twisted or murdered in the eyes of the public, but if this can be done to the majority, definitely there runs some deep waters of congruence.

After all, what is reality anyway? Nothing but a collective hunch. - Lily Tomlin

The collective hunch is just a perception. And, no matter, how much it is distorted, it straightens out sooner or later. Or so, I think.

> Siddhartha
P.S.: Please post your viewpoints too. I believe this article is flawed with not much thought given over.

Honey, that bee shrunk my self-esteem! May 16, 2008

The boy walked slowly on the deserted road. The sun had set and in the faint dusk light, he could barely see his hands. He felt the back of his left ear. It hurt. The skin was uneven and protruded strangely all over. His fingers caressed all over and , finally, with a grunt of disgust he let go. That bee! That lousy bee!

Laughing are you? Ha ha ha. It definitely is funny. I have been trying to recall how that bee bit me but in vain. All I remember is that my left ear was swollen and two sizes bigger than my right one. Gee! Combine it with the reddish tinge it held all day and all night. For a 9 year old boy, a bee sting is worse than a nightmare.

But its what followed that is even more interesting and hilarious than the gigantic left ear I *was blessed* to have. Every other evening I used to visit my friend and we would play video games till we dropped dead tired and satisfied. That evening as I walked down to their house (with the sting-enhanced ear), I shivered in anxiety. I wondered if my friend is gonna make fun of me. If he would have the laugh of the day at my expense.

At home, I was okay with it. Everyone had a laugh, including meself, but I was so unsure of going out in the open in front of *others*. I was afraid of the laughter I would encounter. I couldn’t bring myself to terms and be okay with it. Come on man! I have got some self-esteem. I couldn’t let it evaporate right before of my eyes.

Yet, I didn’t stop. I traced my steps to his house. With bated breath, I waited for him to pinpoint and break into fits of laughter. “Hey you are late. Come on in!”. He didn’t seem to have noticed. Wait! How could he have missed that? Anyways, with some hesitation I joined him and then we played Contra & Formula1 and we had the time of our lives. All sense of unsurety vanished into thin air. Yet, I still had the vision of the ear in the back of my mind.

Before leaving, I pointed out to the ear meself and all three of us (including his cute sister) had a great laugh. And, joking about the ear, I felt good. In another light perhaps, I was gagging my self esteem. But, ten years later, when I look at it, it makes me question: What is my self-esteem? What is it based on? An over-sized ear?

What forms your definition of self esteem? Surely physical attributes and all that you considered till date to be self-esteem are very shallow depictions of that esteemed self of yours. Don’t you think people are so much into themselves (including you and me) that to place the foundation of *WHAT YOU ARE* through the eyes of others is stupidity.

I think you will like the following lines. They are from the song “Happy” - Natasha Bedingfield’s album ‘Pocketful of Sunshine’.

“Happy”

Ooh.. Oooooohhh.
Landlords Knocking at my door cussing me out
Got laid off my job the night before
Can’t figure how
I’m gonna fix tomorrow away
If today’s still a mess
Can u tell me what’s the point man,
It all seems meaningless
I wish that I could step away and breathe
This world’s trying to swallow me
Clear away the clouds inside my head

Someone just tell me
That it’s ok now
What are you worried about

Got my dreams, got my life, got my love
Got my friends got the sunshine above
Why am I making this hard on myself
When there’s so many beautiful reasons I have to be happy

People lie, people hide, people cry, people fight

And they don’t know why
If fear is all that we should fear
Then what are we so afraid of
Cause fear is only in our heads

Someone please say…

Any day ill go bad thinking bad
Everyone is against me and the world wants to fight me
Preparing to battle an enemy unseen
During my stressing I’m blinded to the lesson
That could be a blessing if Id be confessing that the enemy
I’m trying to beat is hiding inside of me

But it’s ok now…what are you worrying about…

Keep your grind on girl…it’s your love, it’s your world…

—

Time for some self-talk I guess.. See ya later!

Siddhartha

[Book Review] The Reluctant Fundamentalist April 19, 2008

Restrained to perfection. Thats how I see this masterpiece. Mohsin Hamid has painted an image that is too compelling to cast aside. In fact, there are instances where you’ll find echoing in the mind of Changez, the Pakistan-to-Princeton protagonist, the lost depth of your own soul. The voice that you perhaps silenced aeons ago. To say the least, you ‘rediscover’ the fragility of your own being, the scars made deeper and more smarting.

 

One thing that immediately strikes you in the controlled flow of Hamid’s exquisite narrative is the instant kinship you develop with Changez. He doesn’t seem someone alien despite his, ‘respectful politeness’. Infact, the more you discover him, the more you realize how incomplete we ourselves are. How inspite of umpteen races and nationalities, human beings still have something in common. Their inner ‘vulnerability’. Their inner ‘reluctance’.

 

From a regal family in Pakistan whose name deteriorated slowly than its wealth, Changez rises meteorically and ‘on the ranks of meritocracy’ gets into Princeton University. His ‘hunger’ earns him a place into an upper crust firm in America, Underwood Samson and Company. And, then there is no looking back. He starts believing and conducting himself as an American. Nay, a  hardcore New Yorker.

 

His lifestyle does a paradigm shift and so does his mind-set. Or, so he lets himself believe. Whether it is his relationship with the pretty Erica or applying ‘fundamentals’ in his professional life or rising into the elite society of New York, slowly but surely he marches on. Firm. Everything seems perfect. The Great American Dream didn’t sound too good to be true. It was, in fact, even better. And, it was materializing right in front of his eyes.

 

Religion, Ethnicity, Background - where do these fare on the grounds of merit, of excellence, of being human? No where. Alas! If that were true. Add on to it the anxieties and pains, the agonies and ghosts of the past, and you will realize that maybe, even being human is grievous than being animalistic.

 

Changez faces something like this, or perhaps worse, when 9/11 happens. Gone were the days when his brown skin, the ‘middle’ man, would effectively blend in the serpentine current of New Yorkers. Instead, his nationality, his religion, his wheatish complexion and his beard become his only identity ‘in America’. America! The great superpower that had welcome him with open arms was suddenly hostile.

At 22, ‘The Reluctant Fundamentalist’ Changez finds his life in a strage vortex. And, he finds he has nothing substantial. Nothing concrete within. Something he could hold on to, inspite of anything and everything. Something that he never had, till date, and perhaps he felt, was the reason he lost Erica. Or, was it she who chose not to be a part of his life? He would never know. It was a vortex of paradoxes.

 

The journey takes unexpected and, even, poignant turns. What remains or what is lost within are what makes ‘The Reluctant Fundamentalist’ such a delightful read. An evening with this book can change your outlook and make it more broad, more encompassing. I felt a strange sense of bonding with Pakistan and its people, something I had not felt in my entire life. But, was it because we have the same background? Or, because they seem vaguely similar than the distant Americans? Am I too a victim of ethnic misinterpretations?

 

‘The Reluctant Fundamentalist’ is a peek into the minds of those who build magnificent castles and, yet, fail to identify the foundation beneath. And above all it, as succinctly put by Kurkus Reviews, is ‘A grim reminder of the continuing cost of ethnic profiling, miscommunication and confrontation.’

 

Magnificent! I would give it a 4 on 5.

Siddhartha

And I give in to her charms! April 5, 2008

Well, it was a very pleasant evening yesterday with the weather going completely beserk and we, thirsty souls, being quenched with torrents of rain. The Rain God surely was very happy that he condescended to my wishes, of many months, and gave me the perfect setting to savour and enjoy life. To just feel and lick it, literally! As the drops fell on my palm and I looked up to the heavens, I suddenly realized that, perhaps, the beauty of Nature is so vast, so infinite and so indescribable, that drinking from it throughout our life would still leave us half-full and half-empty.

 It was while savouring the rain, and the wild breeze, whose coolness can put the world’s best air conditioners to shame, that I had a strange and naughty thought of the wind playing with me and it was a alluring hide-and-seek game. So, the wind really, felt to be a seductress, trying to make me submit to her. The play of lovers and the play of nature is what I have put in the following verses. I hope you enjoy them and, feel the saundhi-si-khushboo of the first rain as you savour these lines. 

And I give in to her charms!

 This wind, Oh! Her passionate coolness, blows wild and free,
Touching me, she enticingly murmurs a delirious moan.
Her fingers softly run through my ruffled hair,
As she gently caresses my lips with her own.

 No niagra is tantamount to the deluge of emotions
Flowing through my heart; The cup runneth over.
Like the hair on my skin, I stand dazed
Dark clouds gather above, I am left with no cover.

With an indignant air, she forces herself upon me
An ecstatic ‘me’ succumbs and hungrily responds.
Oh! How the heart flutters in fiery restlessness!
This temptation seems more mysterious than all earthly bonds.

 Before she comes down blazing, with the rain,
And engulfs me longingly in her arms.
Let me savour her too, reveal the depths of my love;
Slowly, very slowly, she seduces me; And I give in to her charms.

 I know you liked them. I am still completely intoxicated by what I have savoured. You too are I guess!

Till the next time, Goodbye! Siddhartha

An evening ‘almost’ near Guruji… March 31, 2008

Well, Hi there! It is a beautiful night. The cool breeze is flowing with full gusto. As if it has just been released. The energy of being free. The happiness clearly visible in its frolic. And, it fills with a strange sense of calmness… of serenity. As it plays with my hair and makes waves with my locks, I try to remember the last couple of hours.

Our University had the Fifth Convocation for the Management Students today evening and to grace the occassion His Holiness Sri Sri Ravishankar had descended on the lawns of Nirma University. We, technology students, had been granted a half day and were supposed to leae by the afternoon bus. And, I too was one of the ‘herd’ leaving in the us, when my eyes fell on the ‘Welcome’ signboard outside the University gates which invitingly stated “Chief Guest: Sri Sri Ravishankarji”.

I couldn’t control myself. Was he to come here? In person? Could I see him with my eyes? God! The man with the heavenly child smile who talked peace, love and happiness & emanated a blissful aura everywhere he went. But, then it dawned upon me that the bus was speeding up away at an alarming pace, dragging me along. I jumped up. To hell with a good afternoon nap! Or worse, some assignments! I paced up to the bus door, asked the driver to please stop and got down. I took a rickshaw back to the University. But, how to spend the four hours? Off I headed towards the library and found a beautiful Tagore’s work Naukādubi i.e. ‘The Wreck’ and happily whiled away my time.

I reached on time before the ceremony began and was amazed to see the huge crowd that had flocked and were sprawled over the grounds completely. The stage had been ornamentally ‘dressed’ with flowers and lights alike. When the parade to the stage began, I realized I wasn’t breathing. With bated breath, my eyes searched for that man. And, when I did see him for the first time, a shiver ran down my spine. A sweet feeling of acknowledgement from the body mechanism as it sat wondering what was wrong with the mind. Why had it suddenly gone numb?

People started running towards him trying to attract his attention, with folded hands, and supremely feeling happy when he smiled at them. As he neared, all feelings of prejudice, hate and unhappiness swept away from me. As if I had lost the capacity to feel bad or angry or hatred. When he was inches to me, I noticed that though his expression was serene, he was physically very frail, much darker than on the television screen. And, yet, he smiled with the same inward happiness.

And, then I waited for his Convocation address. It was very small according to everybody’s expectations, including mine, but I could choose not to be disappointed about it. I smiled and accepted all the words that he spoke. It was nothing new or different. But, from his mouth they sounded honey. He urged students never to loose their ’student-ship’, always have the urge and enthusiasm to learn. To free oneself of prejudice and rise above. To acquire ‘friendliness’ towards everybody as the person with most friends has the least problems. To understand and accept one’s responsibility to Mother Earth and the environment. And, finally, to just have a beautful life, full of humour and humility.

The presence of this man was indescribable. And, it awakens within us the urge to raise our spirits too. And, smilingly, become ‘human beings’. Compassion, love, acceptance, beauty, vision, humility, humour - Do all these words mean something to you?

Siddhartha

Maybe within, But no way without March 18, 2008

Well, it seems that life truly is a roller coaster ride and the jerks you get are very rough. Yeah, I know life is competition, keep faith, give your best, blah blah. But when its only you who has to face the music rather than being a side-watcher, do you realize how tough it is to face the blows.

Well, it was my first paper presentation at our national symposium. Now, it was not that I was alien to public speaking. Or, to emanating charm and exuberance. And, I even had the hard work in place. Man! My work was anything but not perfect. Well, almost! And, albeit, there was competition and the worst I expected was the trophy of the first runners up, and yet, I was in for terrible disappointment. I was dumbfounded in the valedictory prize-distribution ceremony. Fine! Maybe, I wasn’t the best, but I know and so did everyone else in the audience that I deserved at least the second prize.

Now, you may try to make me feel at ease, try not to take this stuff seriously and just chill! Oh yeah! You have given it your everything, shaped it with your hands and watered it with perseverance. And, you don’t get even a dime for your efforts. Its true I got the wow of the audience, appreciation from my peers, seniors &, even, co-participants that was genuine and yet, I cannot bring myself to accept this. I cried, I kicked myself and I even pinched myself. But, yeah, I still have not come to terms with this truth. Selfish! Ignorant! Arrogant! Egoist! Maybe, I am some or all of this. Who knows?

I guess the whole english dictionary would fail to describe my agony. Is it that I am over-reacting or maybe am out of my mind. But, I guess, being a human I should be allowed to feel these emotions, the pain of rejection, the agony of defeat and the ’so called’ essence of failure. Whatever the reason the brain has gone numb and feels a strange mix of anger and despair. They say participation is important. What the hell! I know that. If winning is not that important, why do they keep the scoreboard? Especially, when you see people around you walking away with laurels whilst you stand on the pedestal and yet, remain empty-handed.

The point I am trying to make to myself and you is the fact that you shouldn’t run away or pull yourself away from emotions. You talk of always trying to be happy, see the positive and see what good it has done to you. No doubt, yes! But, by denying the negative emotions you are creating a strange void in your mind. That, it will cause rumbling even with the slightest imbalance. If you don’t vent out your anger, won’t you blow with it sooner or later? I am not talking about a learned guru but a common man facing the world and its challenges single-handedly.

I guess many of us have felt this sort of anger towards something or someone and since this is somewhat new to me, I wrote a piece ‘Within, Not Without’ to vent out my feelings which I shall be sharing with you. If you don’t feel all of it, how the hell are you gonna transcend it? I haven’t got over it and I don’t know if I have gained anything from it, as people say ‘experience if nothing else’ but I know that when people are genuinely passionate, even mad, about something and it is denied to you, surely your world comes crashing down. I wanna expose the frailties of human emotions and ask you don’t deny them. I know having felt them and allowing myself through the process have I been able to reduce the ill effects. I haven’t got over it completely but it has given a me a new sense of respect for myself, for my perseverance and for my good-will towards others.

All this may sound too preachy and yet, I know this is what happens to us, human beings, after such a ‘traumatic’ experience, if it can be termed one. And, I hear a friend say, ‘This is so trivial, it shouldn’t even be considered’. True! But try telling that to someone who has been heart-broken completely for the first time.Try telling this to me. So, I guess I haven’t and won’t fake it by appearing a hero but what I have and am, in bits, going through. This piece may help you identify yourself with the lesser known person within yourself. Its our weaknesses that define our strengths. And, remember the only shortcut in life’s journey is through it.

Within, Not Without

 Something within is taking its toll;
Life, it seems, has come to an abrupt end.
Whilst I falsely perceived it to be on a roll,
Behold! Towards no direction does my life tend.

The agony of defeat is indescribable…
Ah! It pains, it hurts so much!
Why do they sing the merits of work?
When giving everything too has not led me to the perch.

How do I sing of beauty? How do I sing of love?
When the spring of hope, it seems, has died within.
How do I accept these words of empathy?
When I perceive failure only next to sin.

‘Be satisfied’, ‘Its Okay’ - They say;
‘Coz you have given it your all’.
How do I even take that in?
When all I see is my fathomless fall.

My selfish heart sees others stealing that glory;
My selfless efforts could not accomplish.
They march on forward, being touted as ‘whales’,
Whilst I remain behind, my status stuck on ‘fish’.

This tumult, this baggage of emotions, O God, is killing.
I don’t understand, I don’t know what to do.
Has something within has gone drastically wrong?
At least someone tell me if this is true.

I feel lost completely, I feel terribly ashamed,
I guess, I have nowhere to go.
Albeit, I should rebuke myself for such worthless thoughts,
I neither have the élan, nor the energy to do so.

Has time sped up, or have I gone slow?
I don’t have an answer, I don’t really know.
But, methinks, this bout of loss will end soon.
I have to rise again; How can my spirits lie low?

Should I succumb to this illusion?
Should I submit to this relative veracity?
When deep within I know I know
This false belief is sucking out my limitless capacity.

The journey of life is very individual, so personal;
Don’t blemish it with comparison, panic or doubt.
Engrave on your heart, O valiant Samurai
‘Blissful success is always within, never without’.

And, don’t take all this too seriously. Not the emotions are not genuine, but its what you and I both can take from it. Ain’t it? So, wouldn’t you welcome a new you, the strong and the weak combined, within? Can I hear ‘Aye’??

Siddhartha

[Book Review] Joker in the Pack March 6, 2008

Joker In the Pack
‘An irreverent view of the IIMs’

Dreams are dime a dozen. Fortunately, so are the opportunities. Well, for most fortunate ones like us. Like the IITs, the IIMs command reverence second to none. They are the ultimate dream, the pinnacle of glory, success and satisfaction for budding engineers (mostly!) and their likes. With the fiction trend revolving around IITs-IIMs catching on in India, ‘Joker in the Pack’ is a new showpiece on the shelves.

Penned by two former IIM grads, Joker in the Pack is the story of an ordinary Indian with well, somewhat-more-than-average brains. Like the rest of us! Its his rendezvous with life armed with nothing except his indecision. No goals! No lofty aspirations! Sounds familiar. Yes, our hero Shekhar Varma is ONE OF US! Brought up in a humble family, Shekhar with his passion for cricket (no surprises, eh!) lands up in a terrible college, blindly following the IT boom in the country. Its a blunder that screws up his life completely.

The college had nothing to offer (not counting the wonderful faculties who wished ‘Good maarning’) and Shekhar, needless to say, falls in bad company. His goals narrow down to ‘just pass’ and his survival mantra ‘bunk-but-do-not-flunk’. Cheeky!
Little is he aware that a project handed to him is going to change his life completely. No points for guessing the reason: A girl. Anoushka makes him rethink about his mediocre approach to life and the positive impact it has is phenomenal. Shekhar Varma scores 99.88 percentile in the Common Admission Test. Anoushka too makes her mark by getting into IIT-Bombay for her Masters.

Life takes in a completely different approach as he is grilled through interviews and group discussions. Grilled completely - As in his own words, he is slaughtered like a lamb in the IIM-A interview with a professor even calling him a ‘worthless piece of trash’. Poor lamb!

But, fate and ‘uncertain’ hard work pay off as he lands into IIM Bangalore. It is said that some things in life transform you completely and these bits in life’s journey come quite rarely. This transformation - of innocence to maturity, deep slumber to silent awakening, and listless life to passionate men - happens to Shekhar in the form of his two years at IIMB. What begins from here is the journey… The journey waiting for all of us, through Shekhar’s eyes.

The IIMB life depicted cannot be put into words. Albeit, words form the soul of this book, there are parts where you go beyond the words and feel as if you understand exactly what is being felt by the protagonist. Because, life at IIMB is not extraordinary. Its hullabaloo. And, the turmoil is what brings out who you really are, what you were destined to be.

You breeze past the morning classes, the late nights when days begin, the fortnight parties coupled with booze & dance and the dreaded deadlines always in competition to give you a dead end. IIM people may be good in statistics, but statistically, their love life is hapless. If the authors are to be believed only 10-15% of IIM boys ever have a girlfriend! The seniors miss no chance of hitting on their juniors and assay all their efforts in getting a chance.

Right from the clubs buzzing with activities and events to the nicknames (from the likes of Thoku and Chummi to the revered Crazy Panther), ‘Joker in the Pack’ is a wonderful account of all that IS wonderful about life at an IIM. The Internships and Placements, of course, are acmes but it’s all those small bits and pieces of the true taste of life that make this book a must-read.

Life is not easy. But who asked it to be? The hero is not left without cuts and bruises. While his peers are interning in cities like New York and Sydney, he is touring villages in U.P. for Britannia. His romantic life goes through bumps and rough patches. He often finds questioning himself, as to whether he was in IIMB ‘by fluke’? Emotionally drained, physically burned off, yet, he trudges… To deliver!

‘Joker in the Pack’ is a racy piece (that acts in favour as its métier) of reading guaranteed to keep you secured to your seats. Flipping through the pages, you find emotions piling up, draining down but its never-say-die. And, it ends in hope and the unassailable belief that ‘

The only thing separating us from being a star, is the LACK of FIRE in our hearts’!Overall rating, 3 stars on 5!

 

 

Dedication… In a nutshell January 23, 2008

Well, its kinda funny that I am talking of dedication and even trying to capture its essence in a nutshell. But this thought occurred to me whilst in a conversation with a friend about what makes ‘doing things’ worthwhile. Of course, the list of ‘doing things’ includes duties but it also includes all that we wish to do or want to do.

Commitment is a great thing. Even riding on commitment and nothing else can take us a long way. When I see a few wonderful girls of my class giving their night and day, their heart and soul completely for a DANCE competition because they are passionate and committed like hell to bring out their best, I can simply stand in silent awe and adore their ‘dedication’.

In life, in relationships, in work, in leisure, in company and in solitude… Dedication to the present is the key to set everything right.

George Orwell once said,

“To do today’s work well and not to bother about tomorrow is the secret of success.”

Albeit, I may seem to drift away from the topic but all this is related on a higher level. Its simple. “Holding on” is the most important of all human attributes that guarantees self-satisfaction of having done our best if nothing else. In love, with people and of course, in your field, being committed not only ensures that you remain in touch with whats going on outside, but also keeps you in touch with yourself.

Lets take the case of engineering student. Shaping himself and honing his skills for a career, the most important of all things that he needs to give importance to is his studies. His industrial exposure. His practical knowledge. In short, amassing knowledge which will help him survive and succeed in his career. Its an action-oriented career and needs constant attention and readiness to learn. A commitment to accrue knowledge and always be on the look-out. Now, if he whiles away a majority of his time playing, wasting time and chatting he will eventually land up nowhere.

 Getting involved in experiences that enhance you as an individual and make you a better person is different than just wasting time and thinking that you are bettering yourself. In the above case, studies gain the top priority with a very effective role of activies and events that bring out hidden qualities in you and help you mature.

Prioritizing is important. Even levels of dedication prevail according to priorities in our life. I guess, above all, commitment ensures we know we have done our best and it is independent of the outcome. Of course, the new law says we should consider the fruits we are working for and if you are committed, there is no reason you cannot achieve it.

A small word is ‘Learning on the way’ whilst being dedicated. Life is a wonderful jigsaw puzzle with all pieces out of place and few pieces not even available. Dedication is not to a particular area of life, rather its a STATE OF MIND> of being the BEST in whatever you do.

And, if you are already the BEST, well, success is bound to be a small side effect. Ain’t it?

See ya then! Love, Siddhartha

Happy ‘NEW’ Year! January 1, 2008

Well, one more year has passed. 365 less days. 52 much wasted weeks are gone. Most hours uselessly murdered and marauded. And, perhaps, a few hours of the total span of 8760 hours THAT WERE WORTH. And, yet, we have shamelessly come out of our shacks ready to welcome ONE MORE YEAR! Ready to bid Goodbye to 2007! Feeling bad about all the wonderful ‘MOMENTS’ this year has given us!

Yet, with nothing in our ammunition to prove we are worth surviving in the next year, we march on and on. Only a few glorious moments in the previous year to feel proud of and feel that ONLY in those moments we were OURSELVES! So, should we be ashamed of the squandered time of our life? Am I trying to tell you that ‘Look man, you are a moron! You’ve done nothing worthwhile. Better not be shameless enough by feigning joy at this new juncture of time as if this would change something.’?

NO! This ’supposed’ break in time has given us yet another of umpteen opportunities to look back just to count the days of glory, count the things that count in us and then loaded with them march forward. We need not, of course, wait for a 31st December or a ‘Happy-wala Birthday’ to look within and go beyond. Yet, 2007 ends in a few hours and we are bestowed upon with one more wonderful opportunity. One more occasion to look at yourself as a CLEAN SLATE and only writing on it with the ‘Be Yourself’ moments of the past. And write on the back side all the wasted time and ‘Bad’ moments to ensure we are equipped to fight them in the future.

Human life thrives and moves forward on FAITH. Faith is the most potent force in the world. And, the faith WITHIN is the guide to surpassing yourself and, in turn, the world. Before that, ACCEPT YOUR PAST as it is. ALL OF IT! Everything! All the embarrassing, the sad and the disastrous moments! Look into the eyes of your past. Feel the emotions you had let gone. Feel all of it.

Let me illustrate. Suppose, you have had a very embarrassing experience in the past, but you don’t want to remember it because of the pain, the sudden surge of fearful emotions it triggers within you. Just try to remember it frame-by-frame. Feel all that flows through you for all the time it might take. When you are done, you’ll feel a strange sense of calm and no more shall that event be of any mental fright.

Accept your past, arm yourself with all your positives and ABOVE ALL, be yourself. People often say, and rightly say so, that ‘New Year resolutions are never followed’. The ‘NEW‘ in the ‘NEW YEAR’ is nothing more but a chance to look at life with all new goggles. A very fresh perspective! It doesn’t have to always a NEW YEAR. Its better if you look at life at a BRAND NEW DAY everyday! Listen to Celine Dion’s “A New Day Has Come“. Its a great song!

Change the way you look at life and at yourself. Be yourself. Its tougher than it sounds. Work as you want to. In the wonderful television series ‘The Wonder Years’, I heard, ‘We often loose a lot of people/things we love, because we are LAZY or perhaps, simply AFRAID OF’. So, my new year, new day resolve is simply ‘BE YOURSELF’ + ‘KICK AWAY LAZINESS’ (in relationships, work and life) + ‘DON’T BE AFRAID’.

Maybe, you can join in to. Grab this chance! Don’t wait for another new year to flow in. Jump in! Don’t be afraid to take new chances, to work harder, to feel emotions, to love, to feel and to enjoy every moment.

A wonderful writer once said,

Life is NOT a dress rehearsal. You’ve got just one shot at it.

Mark Twain once said,

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.

So, its a new dawn. A new opportunity. The choice is yours, AS IT ALWAYS WAS and AS IT WILL ALWAYS BE.

Wish you a wonderful, satisfying and rocking NEW Year! >Siddhartha

“The Victor” and “How do you know?” November 26, 2007

Nothing succeeds like success.

Success is a habit. Unfortunately, so is failure.

These two quotes are not mere bunch of words brought together to exhibit grammatical expertise. They are cinch to follow, only if you are willing. At times, you feel low and unsuccessful. Albeit, your achievements of the past proclaim a story vastly different from your state of mind. When such feelings surround you, and you stand unguarded they suck out “the Will” like leeches. Its even possible that you feel that you are such a wretch that you can’t feel anything. You are too low to even feel something good and powerful.

My friend, I believe when this happens you should understand that the time has come to wage a battle that is tougher than any in this universe. The battle against the self. In your own mind. Within you.

And, don’t surrender even before trying. Do you want to submit and die a failure? Because you thought you are One. No! Who told you so? And, if any one ever did, who has given him the right to proclaim that? Its YOU… Its YOUR WILL… That counts!

I am posting two wonderful pieces very close to my heart that will help you and me on our voyage amidst the raging storms emanating retching odour of failure from within… One is called “The Victor” by C. W. Longenecker and the second “How do you know?” whose author is not known.

Let the battle begin!

The Victor

If you think you are beaten you are;
If you think you dare not, you don’t;

If you want to win but think you can’t;
It’s almost a cinch you won’t.

If you think you’ll lose you’re lost;
For out of the world we find

Success begins with a fellow’s will;
It’s all in a state of mind.

Life’s battles don’t always go
To the stronger and faster man,

But sooner or later the man who wins
Is the man who thinks he can.

-x-

How do you know?

Who ever said that you couldn’t do
Exactly the thing that you’re planning to?

Who ever thought that you couldn’t climb
Up with the sun to heights sublime?

Who has advised you to check your pace,
Give up your struggle and lose the race,
Crawl off discouraged and hide your face?

Nobody but you.

You are the one who has done it all -
Deserted your castles and let’em fall,
Smothered the spark of ambition fire.
Shut off the current and cut the wire.

How do you know the die is cast?
How do you know when the crowd goes past
Who’ll be the leader, and who’ll be the last?

How do you know?

Life is not merely a game of chance,
And you’re not the victim of circumstance.

Nothing too hard for a man to do,
Wishes it more than a miser’s wealth,
More than an invalid longs for his health.

Works for it, prays for it night and day,
Feels that no price is too great to pay.

How do you know till you strive that way.

How do you know?

-x-

Fight with all your might! Fight for your WILL! Because, that is all that counts…
Your never evanescent fellow-Samurai, Siddhartha